A Place To Heal

[bacali]

I see some of our members talking about the tragedy  in Las Vegas in the shout. They are calling this the worst massacre in American history!!!
Sometimes just talking with others makes us feel better...so I thought I'd start this thread so if you want to say any thoughts...about anything ....you can.
It just seems unbelievable that one man can inflict so much pain and heartache on so many people.
MP asks "Why"...and  so do we all.
Most of the shows today here have been totally talking about this sick man. I wonder why?
Doing this , I think, many times gives other sick people the idea that they can get instant "fame".
Is there no place safe anymore to go....to do anything?
I recently went to a concert for Neil Diamond. I have to be honest when I say.... yes, we were searched...but oh so briefly.
A young girl who worked at the hotel ....uncomfortably patted my side as well as a young man...did my husband.
And, I had a purse....which was hardly looked into.
As there were so many people in line, they didn't want to back the line up and ... the show probably wouldn't have been able to start on time.
I honestly feel that if anyone had wanted to bring something into that arena, they could have.
I actually thought about this before the show started. Not a fun thought when you are supposed to be out for an evening of enjoyment.
Then... as most of you know.. I live close to N.Y. My parents are buried in Long Is, NY. I live in NJ. I have to go through 2 tunnels to get to the cemetery. I have been going to this cemetery since I was a child....with them.
Now, when I go through these tunnels, I am getting nervous. I never got nervous.
I feel that with NY, it's not 'if" NY will be attacked again....it's when will it be attacked again.
Even driving through NY gives me anxiety.
If someone cuts off my husband who is a typical aggressive male....he gets angry. I have to calm him down , because who knows if that person will shoot him or get out of their car and beat him. It's happened.
Last year a motorcycle group surrounded a car with a young couple with children...and beat the husband half to death. It seems one of them thought the car had come too close to them.
I have the tv on and our country just had a moment of silence. ...for 58 people dead and over 500 people injured.
 They have released now a name of a young man who was killed.
What a handsome young man with a beautiful wife...going to a concert in Las Vegas...and ......
My thought is.... God is really angry with us all. We have flood, earthquakes, famine, fires ....
What is happening....? The world need more prayer. And, this can start with all of us.

[LindaM]

To be quite honest, I've worried for awhile on the issue of our safety.  I work at a university and that makes the matter worse.  I feel responsible for our student workers.  They know that if something suspicious is going on, to let me know and get in a safe zone.  That could be under their reception desk or out the door.  They also know that they can come to my office and hide.  I have too many windows not to hide under desks and other pieces of furniture.

I remember the old days when you walked into a concert and didn't worry about your safety.  You were there to have fun and be with friends.  The Elton John Concert I went to was loud, long and good.  He wasn't afraid to communicate with the audience.  He wasn't afraid that a song would offend.  So why the change now.

I know students who only go to certain areas of campus with packs.  I know of students who have been harassed about their ethnic background.  We just got word this morning to watch for any of this stuff going on in the buildings because it has happened before.  Again, I ask why.  When I was a student here, we had to worry about beer parties, not violence.

Something is triggering a return to the 50s is all I can think.  Just look at the ABC game shows.  Someone sees the 50s as the perfect time and place.  While to some, life was perfect, it wasn't fair.  The 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, have seen the changes made (or tried to be made) that makes life good for others.   Now some are trying to implement that others are not people anymore.

It's not just today, it's been building since about 2002.  The fear has taken root and no one knows who to trust or like.  That's sad but I'm afraid it is true.

[Merry Prankster]

Your heartfelt thoughts were very touching, Bacali.  MP can only think of what a truly thin veneer civilization is.

Random thoughts on Las Vegas (can there be any other kind?)---MP googled the term “mass shootings in the US since 2000” (defined as involving the killing of 4 or more people in a single incident) and came up with a Mother Jones survey.   50 incidents since 1/1/2000, almost three per year.  26 since 1/1/2012, over 4 per year (and counting).  Everyone remembers Columbine (pre-2000), Blacksburg, Aurora, Tuscon, Sandy Hook, Orlando….but do you remember Wakefield MA (7), Brookefield WI (7), Red Lake MN (10), Goleta CA (7), Lancaster County PA (5), Crandon WI (6), Binghamton, NY (14)?  MP did not.  Will such atrocities become so commonplace that newscasts will soon report domestic human massacres as follows: “As expected, another mass shooting occurred today in...”?  Will such stories become of such little interest that they serve as the 30 second lead-in to sports?    The mind boggles, the heart numbs, the frustration builds.  More to come……

[ponytail]

I am fortunate to live in a very small town in rural Nebraska. We are privileged to live in a place where you can leave your doors unlocked, let your kids play outside without worry, and have relatively little worries about weather, although we do get scared by a tornado or two.
But everyone, as you said bacali, is just a small step away from a murderous rampage if you leave your doorstep. Just shortly after we got home from London there was the incident on London Bridge, where we were walking just a few short days before. You just never know. And everyone knows people who have been affected by tragedy these days. Our country is suffering, and our government doesn't know how to do anything about it. Or can't. It's just too much for humankind to handle. I, too, am praying for the people grieving their losses, our nation, our leaders, and for our president--hopefully he can be a comfort and a solace to all America.

[LindaM]

Ponytail I know what you mean about London.  We went as a group from work.  My group was there for touring, not shopping. We were told to wear black tennis shoes so we wouldn't stick our (like gawking doesn't show you are a tourist) and to watch for directions.  There was a terror instance above ground on day two or three while we were there.  The tube blew through that stop and went to the next.  It was only above ground that we found out an incident had closed the station.

I say this to jump in.  I too thought I lived in a small enough town that "freedom" still existed.  Up until the 1990s, door were left unlocked while you ran to the mailboxes.  But as North Carolina grew, so did the instances of people having stuff stolen (lawnmowers, etc.).  We have the problem of people thinking that our land is public and they can fish or hunt whenever they want.  We have 8 acres surrounded by water.  We don't allow it on our property but they don't respect our point of view.  They open the gate (if it's not locked) and come in.  That makes us legally responsible if the land isn't posted or we don't have no trespassing signs if someone gets hurt.

Our founding fathers stated that we have inalienable rights.  The problem is when someone thinks that my rights infringe on theirs and they can countermand them.

[bacali]

Just a thought ( in this place to heal)...just was thinking....
Is today Oct. 24th, 2017 a normal day because nothing violent happened in our news to shake us ?
A "normal" day vs...one where we've not experienced a numbing tragedy?
What is our normal ...today?
Isn't this a sad way to think about our lives now?
And ,as I read your posts , I hope it does help us feel a bit better to talk to each other.
I live just a stone's throw from New York City.
It's a small town with lovely people and I keep my back screen door "latched", but, the glass door isn't closed and "locked". I feel the same way about my town as you do, ponytail, living in Nebraska...except... I know the sprawling property is nothing like yours.
My neighborhood isn't like many I hear on the news ...and , I hear plenty.
A child sleeping in bed... getting hit with a stray bullet going through the window of her room.  Too much to even listen to the news , so I turn it off.
This is such an atrocity... I can't even imagine it happening....but, it does in poor low income neighborhoods.
For me... It's when I go ....out of my house... that I think the whole world has gone crazy. Then , now, I worry. Although I know I shouldn't... but, ... I do.
Our country is "the land of the free"....yes, it is..... but, I don't care what state you live in.... right now in this year....2017... we aren't anymore the definition of what this "freedom" means.

[LindaM]

bacali -- I'm with you.  I lived in a small town that is near enough to Greensboro, Raleigh, Chapel Hill, Winston-Salem that I can enjoy theater, sports, you name it.  Charlotte is 2 hours away.  The beach is 3 to 4 hours (depending on whether I stay in NC or go to South Carolina).  The Outer Banks are 6 hours away.  The mountains 2 1/2 hours.  It's the best of all world but still I worry.

Growing up, our back door was left unlocked.  No one ever bothered our property.  If you hunted, you knew the rules of the people who owned the land.  Heck, you went hunting with them or at least asked permission.  Now, you have to post your land and still they sneak in.  They camp out and don't obey the no hunting and no trespassing signs.  Heck, one brave soul even snuck in and messed with mom's car recently  We found out outside leash for the dog and two rubber snakes lying on her battery under the hood.  Why do people do it?  Who knows but even the police haven't been able to catch them.

I study pop culture.  I see in many ways some people wanting to return to the 1950s.  I wasn't old enough to protest during the 60s but I understood why.  Our African-American neighbors were treated like members of the community and we were trained to say yes sir, no ma'm to them just like we did everyone else.  The children who I went to school with was taught not to see "color of the skin" but accept all people as equals.  I'm afraid we are moving away from that now.

Working at a university, I see all students.  I make my students aware that if you respect me, I respect you.  I treat them as equals.  Others give them grunt work.  If I won't do it, I don't ask them to either.  It's my way.  I've been looked down at and insulted because of my position (secretary) and because I don't fit the mold (married, 2 children, wishing for the country club).  If they want to get technical, my pedigree is probably better than some.  I am a registered member of the Daughters of the American Revolution and know my background on all sides of my family.  Heck, most of my mother and father's people lived in the county since the 1700s.  Yes, some owned slaves but they tried to treat them fairly.  Yes, some of the slaves even took the "family names" like Holt (Plaid Mills) and Ingles.  Mom played with share croppers kids!  Treating people equally in ingrained in my system.  Could I be a snob?  I've hobnobbed with the work Trustees but it is usually at social functions and church.  I don't tend to mention it here.  If I did, I might get yelled at or be told I was moving above my station.  Don't judge my life folks is what I want to say when I retire.  Will I is another matter.

[bacali]

Yesterday, Halloween, I was so much looking forward to the Halloween shows on tv. I  did have plans to go to see my two little ones at their respective schools, but, things always change at the last minute when you are dealing with the schools, and little children .
But, this  was fine. We would stay home and answer the door to the children trick or treating and later  "our" two little ones would come here instead to "surprise" us, at home. Really ...easier for us.
I'd watch some funny Halloween show.....and enjoy the day....
The door bell is ringing  with trick or treaters and I'm watching "Ellen" and again.......our life was thrown upside down by , as they are calling it, the worst terrorist attack we have had in Yew York since 9/11.
Every single channel had this terrible news event on. Another horrific motor attack mowing down innocent people....and,  just a stone's throw from where I live.... and a park I, myself, have walked in ....right along the Hudson River.
As I put on my very first post here....I think mostly everyone living in NY and the surrounding area always knew there would be another attack.....just not when it would be or how these madmen would do it.
I feel so badly for these poor people who went walking and biking ....to have this be their last day alive.
If there is anything to be thankful for.... this area is full of schools which would have been dismissed only 25 minutes later.
This whole area would have been full of children... grade, middle and HS ages....all excited for Halloween. Now, we watched since nothing else was on any local channel and these poor kids were in lock down in their respective schools until dark.
What a world we are now living in. And, we all know that there is no way for the police or government to protect us all from everything.
But, these terrorists have to know by now.....there is NOTHING they will ever do that will stop us from living our  lives. There are more kind, loving people in our country than they have madmen and we in this country will live our lives.... in freedom.  This is what they hate. 

[bacali]

They said this newest terrorist attack today in New York City is the first suicide bomber on U.S. soil. How lucky we are that he is stupid and didn't make the bomb correctly or many, many people could have been hurt.
Right now , he is the worst injured since the bomb didn't go off as he had planned. This 29 year old evil idiot struck at rush hour and approximately 20 minutes or so after my daughter in law left Port Authority on her way to work in NY.
I was so sick to my stomach all morning. My dil was fine and my son, Bobby was fine,( mentally speaking) ...but, I actually had to take some thing to calm me down, and lie down. It just is affected me really a lot.
I hate that she works in NY. She is a really smart young woman with a wonderful job. But....
I just can not take it anymore!!! I know lots and lots of people deal with tragic deaths, but, I couldn't even begin to imagine what my Liam and Ava would have done, ...if something had happened to their Mommy.
 
 

[trouble405]

so sorry you had to worry so much.  thankfully she is alright

[LindaM]

Any terror attack is scary.  This year, all of my friends/students were not in New York but I remember 911 so well because I had one on his way to an audition.  I breathed a sigh of relief when he called and said he stopped for coffee.

Is this the new norm?  London expects it every time they walk out and have a plan.  Do we???

[ponytail]

Unfortunately, as they say, they have stopped countless attacks, but they won't be able to stop them all. It just takes one slipping through the lines of defense. I am glad all is well, bacali. I think New York has a pretty high state of preparedness!

[bacali]

Ponytail, I agree with you on both things you say.  NY is so "protected", but, it just takes one time to amass a disaster.
It's just such a sick world to have to worry like this. And, hey, I am so thankful for God letting me be born in this wonderful country. I am just wishing it were in a different part of it that my family lived and raised me, so that I wasn't so close to NYC.
I want to go to the cemetery before Christmas, to put a grave wreath on my parent's grave.
For the last several years , it's like this "prilgrimage'  I've felt ( and I hate to be honest...it feels this way)...but, my parents are buried in Long Island.
I never even really have been to Long Island, nor do I even know anyone who has ever lived there. But, my father's family has a huge momument ...and I mean big... and this is where he wanted to be, so followed my mom when she passed away.
I get anxious now...going through the Lincoln tunnel from NJ, to NYC and then another tunnel to L.I.
I've been going to this cemetery from being a baby... but . NOW, I get anxious.
I know, that someday, these terrorist probably will bomb one of these tunnels. I probably say the one from NJ to NY.
The terrorist that did the 9/11 lived not too far from where I live. They shopped at a mall and had receipts from that mall.
Sorry, I guess I'm just venting. I just get so, I don't know... not just of the world fighting, but, we , in this country who never seem to get along . And, then here we have the 2nd terrorist attack in 2 months not far from where I live.