The Bachelor Ari Post-Finale Finale

[Merry Prankster]

The Post-Finale Finale or Thank God It’s Over

Sorry guys, MP just can’t muster the same passionate sarcasm he managed to find for the pre-finale finale.  Confusing, huh?  Maybe it’s because the show was nine parts dud to one part interesting.  A few observations in no particular order:

Ari and Lauren on the couch:  Quick, Webster’s, take a pic and post it with the definition of insipid.  Other than the mushing and gushing…..STOP MP!  Remember what your therapist said.  Two scoops of vanilla ice cream trying to be a hot fudge sundae.  Give up, folks.  Even Chris H. looked bored.  And Ari proposed—how nice, how banal.  Just jet off to Arizona, live in a McMansion, play golf, open a Peruvian restaurant and love cook yourselves into eternal bliss.   Hopefully MP will never have to set eyes on you again.

Bride wanna-bes from Ari’s discard pile sitting on the couch:  Pretty boring with the expected reactions ranging from condemnation of Ari (duh) to concern for Lauren (you betcha!) to concern for Becca (she’ll be all right, as we learn later in the show) to some understanding and forgiveness (Huh?).   The raven-haired beauty sitting on the viewer’s left side of the couch was of particular interest to MP.  That woman had blood in her eye!  Warning to potential suitors:  This she-devil may be hazardous to your health.  If you break up with her, be prepared to surrender at least a pint of blood.  This vixen has claws and she knows how to use them!

Jason Mushnick (or whatever his name is) and wife on the couch:  A rather boring blast from the ghost of Bachelor past who pulled off the original switcheroo on national TV.  But they managed to live HEA.  Alright, alright, MP knows it has been only eight years but that’s about 10 lifetimes in Bachelor time.  Their sage advice for Ari/Lauren:  Hide! Hide! Hide! Hide!

Becca: She fell dramatically on MP’s respect meter after last night’s performance.  She started out as the noble, suffering, broken hearted, jilted bride trying to regain her stride on the road to recovery.  She even managed to accept Ari’s gobbledy gook of an apology.  OK so far.  Then she is named the next Bachelorette and proves to be nothing more than another of the money-grubbing fame w*ores who populate every season of The Bachelor.  “I want to be the best damn Bachelorette I can be.”  Oh Gawd, please spare MP.  Her broken heart must be on a mending schedule that has it returning to full health just before the Season Premiere.  Oh Becca, say it aint so.

MP is out.  Fade to black…

[bacali]

Thanks , MP for mustering up the energy to write this. I have to admit... it took me awhile to watch this "historic "ending of the Bachelor.  I had to wake up and rewind it.
Boring really and because of this .... why have a normal ending?
It was suggested on some show I watched ... with mostly all shows today showing snow coverage ...that the producers were the ones to suggest this double engagement. They all went along? 
And, this Lauren...at the age of 25 has been ENGAGED now 3 times!!!   
Yes, a match made in heaven. 
There's no way these two are going to marry and live HEA !!!( happily ever after)
Maybe happily ever for a few months or so.... but not HEA!
  Bye Ari!

[ponytail]

Why, why, why do I get hooked on this show every single g**** season! I suffered through Chris Soules, and Juan Pablo and still didn't learn my lesson! Would love to see a witty, charismatic man on there sometime, that was also sincere. Ari has been one of the worst in my opinion--no wit, no charisma, no sincerity.
Hope Becca is truly ready to take this all on again. Good luck to her.

[bacali]

Why, why, why do I get hooked on this show every single g**** season! I suffered through Chris Soules, and Juan Pablo and still didn't learn my lesson! Would love to see a witty, charismatic man on there sometime, that was also sincere. Ari has been one of the worst in my opinion--no wit, no charisma, no sincerity.
Hope Becca is truly ready to take this all on again. Good luck to her.

  ponytail, to answer your question to yourself or us.... because we are hoping for someone to find true love.
Yes, I'd like a ...to quote you, " witty, charismatic man ", but, we have to know that these types of men...DON'T GO ON REALITY TV SHOWS TO ....FIND LOVE!!!!
I have to laugh because I say the same thing to myself every single season. So, it's just not you.
Also, I have listened to some of the gals on "The View"... Sunny and Meghan , also Ellen DeGeneris.... lots of people who say.... NO, I'm not getting hooked again. But, another season, another Bachelor...and here we go again!
As far as Ari... he is so gross. I don't envy anyone who ends up with him. ....ever!!!!