Random Thoughts

[Merry Prankster]

Thanks.  Stana is Nirvana.

A sign the Apocalypse is on track:

The National Science Foundation conducted its 2012 General Science Survey of 2,200 American adults to assess certain aspects of Americans' general knowledge of science.  One of the questions asked respondents to pick between these two options:

Does the Earth go around the Sun or does the Sun go around the Earth?

74% of respondents picked the correct answer.

[Prairie Dawn]

It is illegal to frown at cows in Bladworth, Saskatchewan.

[Merry Prankster]

 

So tired of the winter shivers…………..<closing eyes>……..tender shoots bow gracefully and water ripples gently to greet the arrival of an old friend and the promise held in its warm, soft  breath as it moves across the pond……

[Snowbird]

The time changes this weekend and we will lose an hour of sleep.  I won't catch up until it changes  back next Fall. 

[Prairie Dawn]

Alaska law states that you cannot look at a moose from an airplane.

[Merry Prankster]

Alaska law states that you cannot look at a moose from an airplane.

Poppycock!  Balderdash!  A crock of bull cookies!.........But it happens to be true.

Alaskan law does not prohibit viewing a moose while the moose is in the plane but it does prohibit pushing a moose out of the plane while the plane is moving.

[Prairie Dawn]

Alaska law states that you cannot look at a moose from an airplane.

Poppycock!  Balderdash!  A crock of bull cookies!.........But it happens to be true.

Alaskan law does not prohibit viewing a moose while the moose is in the plane but it does prohibit pushing a moose out of the plane while the plane is moving.

 

As of 2007, only three quarterbacks have beaten every team in the NFL (the 31 other teams, not including their own); Brett Favre, Peyton Manning, and Tom Brady. Coincidently, they did it within a week of each other!

[Merry Prankster]

Any Bruins fan should lace up the double runners, grab the illegal stick, and be ready to drop the gloves and beg for mercy.  Ovie and the red pants are coming!

[Prairie Dawn]

Any Bruins fan should lace up the double runners, grab the illegal stick, and be ready to drop the gloves and beg for mercy.  Ovie and the red pants are coming!

Pfft! 

[Merry Prankster]

From time to time, the Prankster will post excerpts from actual courtroom proceedings in the US.  Many of you might believe these Q&A's are fabricated, but the Prankster has been in the courtroom often enough (okay wiseguys, he knows what you're thinking------NOT as a criminal defendant) to believe they are factual.

Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?
A. I refuse to answer that question.
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?
A. I refuse to answer that question.
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?
A. No.

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q. Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?
A. I will be three months November 8th.
Q. Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?
A. Yes.
Q. What were you and your husband doing at that time?

[Prairie Dawn]

From time to time, the Prankster will post excerpts from actual courtroom proceedings in the US.  Many of you might believe these Q&A's are fabricated, but the Prankster has been in the courtroom often enough (okay wiseguys, he knows what you're thinking------NOT as a criminal defendant) to believe they are factual.

Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?
A. I refuse to answer that question.
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?
A. I refuse to answer that question.
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?
A. No.

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q. Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?
A. I will be three months November 8th.
Q. Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?
A. Yes.
Q. What were you and your husband doing at that time?

 

A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.
 "Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.
 "Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"
 "Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"
 "Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"


Sorry MP! 

[Merry Prankster]

No need to apologize Prairie Dawn.  The Prankster hasn’t practiced law for many years.  He has been both the provider and recipient of legal services so he knows the score----‘tis far better to give than to receive.  Besides, we all need to be able to laugh at ourselves, don’t you agree?

Ah, the mental health profession----a dedicated group of professionals selflessly committed to helping others.  The web is replete with examples of the invaluable service they perform:

Ring…….Ring…….Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you are and what you want.  Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressed, it doesn’t matter which number you press.  No one will answer.

If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding to the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.
 

(Just kidding! The Prankster holds nothing but good karma for the Muppet who lights up the prairie.)

[Prairie Dawn]

No need to apologize Prairie Dawn.  The Prankster hasn’t practiced law for many years.  He has been both the provider and recipient of legal services so he knows the score----‘tis far better to give than to receive.  Besides, we all need to be able to laugh at ourselves, don’t you agree?

Ah, the mental health profession----a dedicated group of professionals selflessly committed to helping others.  The web is replete with examples of the invaluable service they perform:

Ring…….Ring…….Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you are and what you want.  Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressed, it doesn’t matter which number you press.  No one will answer.

If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding to the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.
 

(Just kidding! The Prankster holds nothing but good karma for the Muppet who lights up the prairie.)

 

You just made my day MP! 

[bacali]

 

I just read all these posts.. MP... you are our "stand up" on a really yukky night of snow.
I enjoyed you more than the award show..and they spend billions on that.
See what our silly little site does for us... ?
It makes us all smile.      

[Prairie Dawn]

So true bacali!