Would you rather...

[ponytail]

I've always wanted to go to space.

Would you rather ride the roller coaster nonstop for 24 hours after participating in a hot dog and pie eating contest or enter a hot dog and pie eating contest while you are simultaneously being tickled and scared by an assortment of clowns, rowdy toddlers, and I'll throw in a munchkin for MP.

[Merry Prankster]

If it involves a munchkin I'm in.  Tickled and scared.

Would you rather.....................

Write the great AMerican novel as your first book and never again write anything that approaches it (and know it) or write a series of pretty good novels but never achieve greatness?

[Merry Prankster]

Tough one MP, btw did I ever tell you how much I enjoy your "Would you rathers?".   No, you never have MP, but thank you.

Great American novel.

Would you rather..................be the dental hygienist for a clan of black mambas that included the mischievous twins La Bamba and Samba or be the massage therapist for a clan of porcupines that included the mischievous twins Pins and Needles?

[Prairie Dawn]

  I will take my chances with Pins and Needles!

Would you rather......


Play tiddlywinks with manhole covers OR hopscotch with a landshark?

[ponytail]

tiddlywinks

travel the entire length of the Appalachian trail on a pogo stick, or swim the Mississippi River using only the backstroke

[Snowbird]

I would swim the Mississippi on my back.  That would be much easier for me. 

Had you rather paddle a rowboat up the Mississippi River or go down Niagara Falls in a barrel?

[ponytail]

Over we go!

Would you rather slurp 3 plates of spaghetti or chug a six-pack of cheap beer.

[Prairie Dawn]

MMMMMMM, spaghetti!


Would you rather.......


Give a ham sandwich eating Mama Cass lookalike a piggyback ride up Mt. Everest OR slide down K2 on a metal saucer that is all greased up with WD40 (Christmas Vacation style) with an angry munchkin strapped to your back?

[Cookie Monster]

the angry munchin, maybe I can calm him down

Would you rather....

Find the center of the earth and just as you are down there, the way out caves in and this is your new home..as you see something very angry looking at you in the dark
 

or

Be under 17 orgers that are from Lord of the Rings and have not bathed for 14 days and then fart allot and then are all sitting on top of you and all around you and you have no where to go...

[Merry Prankster]

YIKES!  Talk about your Hobson's choice.  Give me a Bic lighter and I'll take the orgers.

Would you rather................be the in-water swimming instructor for a group of young Pirhanas that includes the mischievous triplets Nip, Nibble and Bite-Sized, all of whom have just had their adult teeth grow in and are chomping at the bit to get started OR be the on-ground flight instructor/practice target for a group of young seagulls (that includes the mischievous triplets Bombs Away!, Smart Bomb, and Oops!) who are part of the clan know as the "White Devils" who en masse execute low-level runs and cluster bomb unsuspecting beachgoers?

  Anniversary

[Prairie Dawn]

First of all........what is an orger?   

I will take the seagull triplets.

Would you rather.......

Go on vacation with six Leprechauns, all of which have been drinking heavily for six days, have fallen into a patch of poison ivy while urinating in the woods and are now itching and oozing and scratching furiously, and there is only one room available at the resort and you will have to share the bed with the "Pruritus Posse" OR go camping in a pup tent in the heat of the summer with two rowdy mountain men who love to sit round and eat beans all day and use their fragrant "natural gas" to light up the tent so the other can read the NY Times?

[Merry Prankster]

First of all........what is an orger?   

I don't know,  I simply repeated the term posted by the questioner.  I believe he might be within the range of your voice as I write this.

Now I've roped myself into answering your question.  I suppose I'm just an accidental a-hole.

I'll take a gas mask and the NY Times.


Would you rather be......................double bunking in the asylum w/Bill O'Reilly who keeps repeating "No spin zone---Jon Stewart wears granny gowns---word of the day 'dingleberry'" and occasionally gets in your face and keeps saying "Did you kill Lincoln?  Did you kill Kennedy?  Did you kill Jesus?" OR
triple bunk in the asylum w/Dennis Rodman who keeps proposing marriage to you and wants to honeymoon in North Korea w/his best buddy and Gary Busey who thinks he's a mechanical dog, keeps slobbering all over a tennis ball and brings it to you so you can throw it for him to fetch over and over?

[Cookie Monster]

   Oh an orger or what I was trying to spell is the green big guys from Shrek!

[Merry Prankster]

Moving things along-------Bill O'Reilly.  We can discuss his days as a hard-hitting journalist with "A Current Affair."  (Truly----I don't have anything against BO specifically.  I'm an equal opportunity hater of all political pundits.)

Would you rather..........................have a slam-dunk contest with a Yeti or a limbo contest with a munchkin?

[Prairie Dawn]

Limbo with the munchkin.

Would you rather......


Attend "Rigoletto" with Ronald McDonald who pops out of his seat every five minutes and screams "I'm loving it!" before sitting down and letting out a juicy sausage belch OR Take a tour of the red light district in Amsterdam with the Burger King who has spent too much time in a "coffee house" and is stuffing his face with day old bread and saying to everyone he passes, "have it your way" with a wink and a smile?